Church Education Trust

Ruth Johnston.


"My journey of faith".

My journey has been a long one; I am seventy eight years old so I have seen many changes in secular life and church life. Looking back my life has had three phases.During the first phase I cannot remember a time when I didnot know about Jesus and His Father, the all seeing God who kept a close watch on everything I did, waiting to punish me for any wrong doing. At least that was what I was taught to believe.

As a child, a teenager and young adult the Methodist church to which I belonged was very important to me. I faithfully attended services and Sunday school at least four times every Sunday. Throughout the week I attended Christian Endeavour, Bible class, belonged to the Girl’s club and was a Girl Guide. Almost every evening throughout the week I was in the church building.The Bible was very important to me. I really liked reading and learning passages of scripture.

I suppose I was quite vain about my Bible knowledge. If I had thought about it at all, or had I been asked, I would have said I was a Christian.I married young, to a fellow church member who was a committed Christian and we continued with our lives together which still revolved around our numerous church activities. The church to which we belonged was a mission church with a very big commitment of service to the poor, the hungry, the homeless and the outcast so there was always work to be done.

I cannot remember the date on which it dawned on me during a Sunday evening service that although my life was full of what I considered to be "Christian" duties I had never given my life to Christ. I had just continued from childhood doing the things I liked and which made me feel good. It was on a Sunday evening when the Minister who was also a close personal friend made an appeal at the end of the service for those who wished to accept Christ as their Saviour to come to the communion rail.

I do not know which one of us was the most surprised when I went forward, the minister, my husband or me. It was not a life changing experience but a joyous one. My life continued on much the same lines as before but now I had the most wonderful sense of peace and joy.Then in the second phase heartbreak struck. For the second time in my life I had a baby boy die. My first boy had died one hour after birth but this, my third boy, was 9 months old and I was totally bereft.

I could not believe that a loving God could allow this to happen twice, I was so angry. Where was this loving God that I had believed I was serving? In my grief and anger I decided `He` didn’t exist and so for a period of time I lived in the darkness of unbelief.My husband was so patient, loving and kind as was my natural family, my minister and all the church family that I eventually made my way back.

I realised that God had not left me, it was I who had left Him.The third phase is now and all this was a long time ago. Everyone mentioned in this journey, except myself and my middle son, has gone to glory. Because of address changes I had attended and served in different churches. I still continue in serving my wonderful Saviour in any way I am still capable of and can say with the hymn writer;                                          

                                               "BLESSED ASSURANCE JESUS IS MINE."

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